THE FRUITS OF BAD COUNSEL

 

“And it came to pass after this, that Absalom the son of David had a fair sister, whose name was Tamar; and Amnon the son of David loved her. And Amnon was so vexed, that he fell sick for his sister Tamar; for she was a virgin; and Amnon thought it hard for him to do any thing to her. But Amnon had a friend, whose name was Jonadab, the son of Shimeah David's brother: and Jonadab was a very subtil man. And he said unto him, Why art thou, being the king's son, lean from day to day? wilt thou not tell me? And Amnon said unto him, I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister. And Jonadab said unto him, Lay thee down on thy bed, and make thyself sick: and when thy father cometh to see thee, say unto him, I pray thee, let my sister Tamar come, and give me meat, and dress the meat in my sight, that I may see it, and eat it at her hand.” (2 Samuel 13:1-5)

When Amnon had a problem of lust for his sister, he accepted advice from Jonadab, a man he knew was not a source for good advice. Jonadab advised Amnon to put himself in a situation where it would be easier to fulfill his lust, which is what he did.  (2 Samuel 13:6-14) The prophet Nathan was in Jerusalem at the time, and if Amnon had sought counsel from Nathan, or someone similar, it is safe to assume that Amnon would have been reminded of God’s law and advised to seek a godly woman other than his sister for an honourable marriage, and nobody would have needed to know that he ever lusted for his sister.

You can easily mess up your life by seeking and heeding counsel from the wrong people. For example, if you need advice on how to make your marriage work or how to handle marriage problems, you should seek counsel from a mature Christian who has been happily married to the same person for several decades. Divorces are often the direct or indirect result of someone listening to counsel about what they should do and what their spouse should be or do from immature or inexperienced family and friends, or assuming that things they see on TV or read in romance novels are realistic, and then feeling sorry for themself and resentful toward their spouse and deciding they need someone else because of a bunch of trivialities that could have been overlooked or easily worked out. Sadly, the usual result of someone leaving their spouse for someone else is the eventual realization that they were much better off with the one they left, but that realization usually comes after the possibility of reconciliation has been destroyed.