WHY MANY UNMARRIED CHRISTIAN MEN DO NOT APPROACH WOMEN IN CHURCH

 

I can think of several reasons that a young unmarried Christian man might decide against trying to meet women in church (been there, done that), and these stand out in my mind:

·        A lot of unmarried Christian women express offense and label a man as a creep if approached by a friendly and polite man to whom they are not attracted, and he cannot read minds.

·        If a man has already approached one woman in church, he may be reluctant to move on to the next women because of the possibility that, for unknown or silly reasons, this might result in hurt feelings or gossip.

·        Some men may feel beaten down after repeatedly hearing that men are more sinful than women and women tend to be holier than men, which is not true.

·        Many unmarried Christian men have observed that a lot of other Christian men married good Christian women that later divorced them for unscriptural reasons and were able to take most of the husband’s income and property along with the children. The great majority of divorces are initiated by women, even divorces among Christians, and usually for unscriptural reasons. In a divorce a woman can get half (or more) even if he is not abusive or unfaithful and she is, if there is a child and she takes his child with her she gets paid to do that till his child is eighteen, and if she denies his parental rights the authorities are already on her side.

·        Most unmarried church women prefer wicked men, and this can make a search for female Christian companionship in church appear to be a wasted effort. If you do not believe this, just stand back (or sit back) and observe (without comment) how unmarried church women in general behave around Christian gentlemen and note how the same women behave around unbelievers and professed believers of bad character.

·        In Christian circles and media some wrong teachings or messages, which easily make men reluctant about dating, are often conveyed as truths or Bible standards, such as: Casual dating is wrong (because it means casual sex, casual intimacy, or casual love), women’s hearts must be guarded by men, and any romantic relationship must be moving toward marriage. Let me share some reality: Casual dating (a form of courtship) is good and necessary to get acquainted with and be friends with someone (while respecting boundaries) and learn more about someone. Women can guard their own heart and should ask God to empower them in this area. Yes, you should have a distinct goal in mind of eventually marrying a person, but not necessarily this person who is sitting across the table from you that you barely know and possibly need to know better before making the commitment.

·        Christian parents that object to an unmarried Christian gentleman's interest in their daughter due to a tradition, opinion, preference, or taboo are more likely to overreact, jump to extreme conclusions, and spread malicious gossip about him than to discuss their issue with him personally and peacefully, and he cannot read minds.