BACHELORS BEWARE!

Bachelors, and men in general, need occasional reminders that in some ways attention is to women what sex is to men and both immodesty and loose morals are red flags concerning a woman's character.

Here are a few red flags to watch for:

·        VULGARITY/PROFANITY. If she is not decent enough to control something as simple as her speech, what about the rest of her life?

·        DISRESPECTFUL TOWARD HER FATHER/RESENTS MALE AUTHORITY/DOES NOT GET ALONG WITH HER PARENTS. She will not be submissive or respectful when she is married.

·        A YOUNG WOMAN THAT DOES NOT GET ALONG WELL WITH OLDER WOMEN. This is a sign of immaturity. (Does she have any female friends that are much older and wiser than herself, and if not, then why not? Think about it.)

·        READS ROMANCE NOVELS/WATCHES SOAP OPERAS. Soap operas and romance novels have the same effect on women that pornography has on men and fill the mind and heart with extremely unrealistic expectations.

·        READS HOROSCOPE/USES NEW AGE or OCCULT LINGO. Whether she realizes it or not, she is worshipping other gods. Also, she cannot be expected to take responsibility for her actions.

·        IMMORAL/PROMISCUOUS FEMALE FRIENDS. Generally, men choose male friends with similar interests and women choose female friends with a similar lifestyle. (Also, consider Proverbs 13:20; Amos 3:3; 1 Corinthians 15:33)

·        PARTY GIRL/CANNOT STAY AT HOME. She craves excitement and lacks stability.

·        TOO MANY MALE FRIENDS. They are looking for an opportunity to take your place. There is nothing wrong with her having conversations with other men and making small talk with male schoolmates or co-workers or brethren at church. But while both sexes are equal, they are different and forming close bonds outside of a romantic or sexual relationship can be difficult. Close relationships with other men in which she consistently discusses personal issues with them indicates that she is addicted to male attention (and not necessarily your attention).

·        SHE IS MORE INTERESTED IN THE PHONE OR SOCIAL MEDIA THAN IN YOU. She craves drama and attention, and it is a waste of time trying to change her mind.

·        MAN HATER/TESTS TO SEE IF YOU ARE MAN ENOUGH. If she complains that all the men in her life are terrible, there is a common denominator to consider. She is either still bitter over a failed relationship, or she lures men by inciting lust.

·        THINKS ALL MEN JUST WANT SEX. Notice which women usually say this. If a woman uses her body as bait and access to her private parts is all she offers, it is no surprise if she keeps attracting men that are only interested in sex.

·        SHE DRESSES IMMODESTLY. Male and female do not think and feel the same about sex, and in some ways, attention is to women what sex is to men. If a woman uses her body as bait this indicates that sex does not mean much to her except a means to get attention and her way and she is not emotionally stable enough for a monogamous relationship.

·        HIGH BODY COUNT. The insistence that a bachelor hoping to eventually marry should ignore and not be concerned about a woman’s body count or loose morals might make sense if we were talking about a godly woman that regrets and repented of sexual sins and for a long time has been living a life of obedience to God. Otherwise, while sexual immorality is bad for both genders, and because of the differences in the ways male and female think and feel about sex, her sexual immorality (especially promiscuity) gives cause for concern that she gave her body to men without marriage because sex does not mean much to her except a means to manipulate and get attention, and she is not emotionally stable enough for a monogamous relationship (cannot be trusted to stay loyal during times of temptation or difficulty or when everything is not going her way), and the likelihood that sex is all that she will bring into a marriage.

·        INSENSITIVE TO MALE TOUCH. If it is normal for men to hug and hold her like it is not a big deal, it is because she is accustomed to it.

·        LACKS EMOTIONAL CONTROL. Following her heart, in love with love and relationships, believes things and love just happen. Emotions and circumstances change, which means you will not likely be the only one. (Consider Proverbs 28:26)

·        SHE EXPECTS TO BE TREATED LIKE ROYALTY. You should want to treat her like a queen, and you should want her to feel special and happy with you. But if she expects to always be pampered, focuses only on her needs and expectations, and has an unending list of demands, a relationship with her will be a nightmare.

·        SHE IS RUDE TO RESTAURANT STAFF.

·        CONSTANTLY IN TOUCH WITH HER EX IN SPITE OF HAVING NO REASON TO BE. Occasional chatting and texting might be ok, especially if she has a child with him, but constant communication with her ex is a red flag.

·        SHE IS UNABLE OR UNWILLING TO CALMLY AND REASONABLY DISCUSS DIFFERENCES OR CONFLICTS. Remember that it is communication, the everyday getting along with each other, that ultimately makes or breaks a marriage.

It is very important to keep in mind that sexual attraction and romantic feelings tend to blind us to reality, and concerned family and friends are likely to see red flags that you might miss altogether.

Keep in mind that marriage involves big risks for a man. Divorces are usually initiated by women. In a divorce a woman can get half (or more) even if he is not abusive or unfaithful and she is, if there is a child and she takes his child with her she gets paid to do that till his child is eighteen, and if she denies his parental rights the authorities are already on her side.

Considering all this and considering how common it is for women to lie and put on facades during courtship make caution important.