DATING & COURTSHIP

 

This photo does not indicate whether this couple are married or not, but I chose it because they are obviously socializing. The purpose of a dinner date is supposed to be an opportunity to spend quality time together and get to know each other better.

Here are a few reasons many single men have given up on dating: Many women have come to see a dinner date as something other than an opportunity for unmarried people to socialize and get acquainted (as a form of courtship), and many women see this as a means of using men to get free meals. For some reason many women are offended over the offer of a dinner date or coffee date from any man they do not find attractive, interesting, or appealing, and are quick to label a man as a creep or a predator, while at the same time most men do not even pretend to be able to read minds.

Many men assume that buying a woman a meal or otherwise spending money on her entitles him to fornication, and many women assume that this is characteristic of all men and behave accordingly. This makes caution well-advised.

Think about this: When courtship normally lasted one to six months before marrying and it was all about socializing to get acquainted with a view towards the possibility of marriage, because it was normal to seek a friendship that would develop into a committed and meaningful relationship, divorce was unusual. Now courtship normally lasts three years or more before marrying and is all about having a good time, and most marriages end in divorce.

Regardless of how dedicated or spiritual you are, you are still capable of bad decisions, and you can be overcome by lust if you are not careful. Here are a few points to remember:

·        It is very important to keep in mind that sexual attraction and romantic feelings tend to blind us to reality, and concerned family and friends are very likely to spot red flags that you might miss altogether.

·        Regarding the choice of a date or a mate, avoid being deceived by modern “experts” that emphasize factors and issues that receive little or no mention in Scripture while neglecting or downplaying religious compatibility. Look for someone who shares the same religious and moral values. (Psalm 119:63; Amos 3:3; 1 Corinthians 15:33; 2 Corinthians 6:15-17) Remember, you may change someone’s location or name, but you cannot change what someone is inside; only God can do that. 

·        Having a chaperone or double dating is often a good idea, and for private conversation a public place such as restaurant, the zoo, etc., is much preferable to seclusion (e.g., a room with the door closed, a car parked in a secluded spot, etc.).

·        Do not date anyone that does not respect their elders (parents, pastor, etc.).

·        Avoid situations that would make it easy to give in to temptation, and do not date (or keep dating) someone that says or hints that celibacy till marriage is not important. (Proverbs 4:14-15; Romans 13:14; 1 Corinthians 6:18; 15:33)

·        Never assume that you are immune to temptation. (1Corinthians 10:12-13)

·        Do not neglect regular prayer, personal Bible study, or church attendance. (Psalm 119:11, 105; Proverbs 2:3-16; 3:5-7; Hebrews 10:24-25)

 

 

 

 

DID SAUL SPEAK WITH A DECEASED PROPHET OR A DEVIL?

 

In First Samuel 28, was Saul talking to the deceased prophet Samuel or a devil masquerading as Samuel?

Saul was not an exception to the prohibition against necromancy. God would not communicate with Saul through divinely appointed means, and we should not assume that God would allow a devil to beckon the deceased prophet Samuel. (Consider Deuteronomy 18:11 & Isaiah 8:19-20)

“And the king said unto her, Be not afraid: for what sawest thou? And the woman said unto Saul, I saw gods ascending out of the earth.” (1 Samuel 28:13) Note that “gods” is plural.

“Then said Samuel, Wherefore then dost thou ask of me, seeing the LORD is departed from thee, and is become thine enemy? And the LORD hath done to him, as he spake by me: for the LORD hath rent the kingdom out of thine hand, and given it to thy neighbour, even to David: Because thou obeyedst not the voice of the LORD, nor executedst his fierce wrath upon Amalek, therefore hath the LORD done this thing unto thee this day. Moreover the LORD will also deliver Israel with thee into the hand of the Philistines: and to morrow shalt thou and thy sons be with me: the LORD also shall deliver the host of Israel into the hand of the Philistines.” (1 Samuel 28:16-19) Note that “Samuel” spoke of things any devil would know. If it was really Samuel, why didn't the prophet of God warn Saul to repent and seek peace with God?

1 Samuel 28 Bible Commentary

BACHELORS, TRY NOT TO BE STUPID

    Recently a young lady told me that when guys ask for her phone number and she tells them she has a boyfriend, some guys then say she's ugly anyway, so it doesn't matter. That is being stupid. If you are a bachelor and a nice woman has a steady boyfriend or a husband, you don't need to be pursuing a relationship with her. But the likelihood that she might have an unattached female friend or relative that you might like should make you want to stay on friendly terms with her.

AVOID DECEPTION

Keep these points in mind to avoid being deceived by heresies about healing and miracles:

·        God is always sovereign. A teaching that puts man in authority over God, such as the teaching that God must respond a certain way when a Christian says certain words, is a form of witchcraft.

·        Biblical faith respects the sovereignty of God and trusts God to do things in his time and his way.

·        Faith, like love, always has an object and God is the only proper object of Biblical faith.

Biblical faith is based on facts (knowledge of God's word) and may cause emotions, but feelings are not the basis of Biblical faith. Remember the pattern:

1. Facts,

2. Faith,

3. Feelings.

In cults and the occult this pattern is usually reversed.

 

Repeat After Me Prayer

About a year before I was born again, I was listening to a preacher on the radio who invited lost people to say a repeat-after-me prayer, which I did, and I was sincere, but I was no more saved than Job’s donkey. About a year later I learned more about who Jesus is, what salvation is, and how depraved I am, and that I needed a personal experience with Jesus Christ, and I was born again in my apartment using a couch as an altar after coming home from church. I do not remember all the words I prayed or how long I prayed, but I know I repented and believed and prayed until God changed me and I knew I was a child of God.

When people talk about doubting their salvation I ask, “Did God change you?” and “Do you KNOW you are a child of God?" and "If you died today and stood before the gate of Heaven and angels asked why you should be allowed in what would be your response?"

PAUL WASHER on Examining the Sinners Prayer 

Unsaved Church Members 

Thinking About Trains & Salvation

 

There are Bible truths, such as Election and the Trinity, that we should not expect to fully comprehend with our finite minds because our understanding is limited to time, space, and matter, and God created time, space, and matter and transcends time, space, and matter. For example, Scriptures clearly teach that God chose those that he knew would choose him, but nobody can choose God unless he chose them first; that sounds like a contradiction until you consider that God transcends time, space, and matter. (Incidentally, if you are lost, when you are being drawn and convicted of sin you need to obey the Gospel then and repent and believe on Jesus Christ and ignore the delusion that you can get saved when and where you choose. God is sovereign and saving faith is a gift from God; in other words, you do not have it unless God gives it to you.)

Also note that light comes from Scripture and not the Protestant Reformation or the Protestant Reformers. “The entrance of thy words giveth light; it giveth understanding unto the simple.” (Psalm 119:130) The Reformers did teach important truths, but we should test all things by God's Word and not Reformation teachings and traditions. “These were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so.” (Acts 17:11) “Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” (2 Timothy 2:15) “All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness.” (2 Timothy 3:16)

Both the sovereign choice of God and the freewill of man are essential to salvation, and we invite error and misunderstanding when we emphasize one aspect to the exclusion of the other or read into the texts ideas that are not there. For example, the argument that the whole world would be saved if Christ died for the whole world is also contrary to Scripture; the blood atonement is sufficient to save the whole world, but it is only efficient to those who believe. (1 Timothy 2:5-6; 4:10; Hebrews 2:9; 1 John 2:2; 4:14)

Some use the doctrine of election to spiritualize disobedience, reasoning that personal evangelism or supporting missions works against the sovereign choice of God. But the sovereignty of God requires obedience to his commands, such as the commands to preach the gospel to every creature and occupy till he comes. (Mark 16:15; Luke 19:11-13; consider Ezekiel 3:18)

The relationship between the sovereign choice of God and the freewill of man in salvation can be compared to a railroad track. Consider that the rails are parallel and do not join, but both rails of a railroad track are essential for a train to move, and this is a good illustration of salvation. Even though the rails of a railroad track are parallel and separate, if you are standing on a railroad track on flat land and look to where the track meets the horizon the rails appear to meet just beyond the horizon; in salvation the sovereign choice of God and the freewill of man meet, without conflict or contradiction, somewhere in the mind of God, but we should not expect to understand that in our finite minds.

God chose believers to glorification and eternal life with God according to foreknowledge, but Scriptures never say that God chose anyone to go to Hell as unbelief is a work of man and not of God. God must do the saving for anyone to be saved, but those who die lost can only blame themselves.

 God’s Sovereignty and Man’s Responsibility

GOD’S WILLINGNESS and MAN’S UNWILLINGNESS 

Twin Truths: God’s Sovereignty and Man’s Responsibility (John 3:11-21) 

DON'T ROMANTiCISE THE PAST TOO MUCH

 

“And the mixt multitude that was among them fell a lusting: and the children of Israel also wept again, and said, Who shall give us flesh to eat? We remember the fish, which we did eat in Egypt freely; the cucumbers, and the melons, and the leeks, and the onions, and the garlick: But now our soul is dried away: there is nothing at all, beside this manna, before our eyes.” (Numbers 11:4-6)

"Say not thou, What is the cause that the former days were better than these? for thou dost not enquire wisely concerning this." (Ecclesiastes 7:10)

 After the children of Israel escaped Egypt, many complainers insisted on romanticizing the past even though they had freedom, plenty of free food, plenty of clean water, no diseases, and their clothes did not wear out. There is a good lesson there about the folly of romanticizing the past too much; the so-called "good ole days" and "simpler times" were not always good, and while they were different, they were not simpler. Yes, there were good values and good traditions that should be preserved, but in every generation, there have been wrongs, injustices, and corruption. 

There seem to always be people romanticising the past, especially when this supports their theories or agendas. Many often insist on romanticising the past because of a belief that world conditions must continually go from bad to worse because they believe Satan rules the Earth; Satan rules in the hearts of unbelievers, the wicked world system, but God is the present ruler of the Earth and ultimately controls everything, and nothing in Scripture indicates that God ever abdicated his throne or turned his throne over to Satan. (2 Corinthians 4:4; 1 Chronicles 29:11-12) Many apply prophecies about the destruction of Jerusalem and the temple in 70 A.D., that were fulfilled in the first century and apply these to modern times to prove that everything must go from bad to worse and feel compelled to romanticise the past. Prophecy preachers and theorists often romanticise the past and predict a world where demonised and satanic people hold public offices after the rapture, but this has been a characteristic of the world for thousands of years (consider Matthew 4:8-10).

Christians are obliged to occupy till Christ returns. (Luke 19:11-13) Salt cleanses, purifies, preserves, and makes people thirsty, and light dispels darkness and exposes that which was hidden in darkness; government corruption and social maladies are signs of a lack or decline in Christian influence or an increase in exposure of corruption. (Matthew 5:13-16) But whenever anyone reminds Christians that they have a duty to impact society and culture for righteousness there are usually professed Christians insisting that Christians should not do that or be concerned about that because there is no time to accomplish anything or because this would contradict their pet theories and speculations about things they do not and cannot know. It is often difficult to convince modern Christians that God is not obligated to submit to any schedule they have set for Him.

 

Books I Recommend

 

Movies I Recommend

 

Sound Of Freedom

 

Just a reminder: Liberals and liberal media praised Cuties and criticized Sound Of Freedom. That should be all you need to know.

If you have not seen Sound Of Freedom yet, you missed an excellent movie.

Gossip

“Keep thy tongue from evil, and thy lips from speaking guile.” (Psalm 34:13)

                    “These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:17 A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,18 An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief,19 A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren.” (Proverbs 6:16-19)

“He that is void of wisdom despiseth his neighbour: but a man of understanding holdeth his peace. A talebearer revealeth secrets: but he that is of a faithful spirit concealeth the matter..” (Proverbs 11:12-13)

“A froward man soweth strife: and a whisperer separateth chief friends.” (Proverbs 16:28)

“He that goeth about as a talebearer revealeth secrets: therefore meddle not with him that flattereth with his lips.” (Proverbs 20:19)

“Where no wood is, there the fire goeth out: so where there is no talebearer, the strife ceaseth.” (Proverbs 26:20)

“If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain.” (James 1:26)

I remember when I was in kindergarten the teacher showed the class a game called Gossip. She had everyone sit in a circle. She would whisper something to a student, who would then whisper what he heard to the right ear of the student to his left, and subsequently each student did likewise. Whenever the rumor got around to the last student, he told the class what he heard, and it was completely different from what the first student was told. The same thing happens with real world gossip; even if an element of truth remains, the story changes as it gets passed around. Sometimes a rumor starts with someone telling a lie, sometimes a rumor starts with someone betraying a confidence, and very often a rumor starts when someone overhears a conversation, assumes they got the whole story, and believes others need to hear the story.

Here's one way to deal with gossipers: Years ago, at the workplace one of the local gossipers approached me and said she heard that I had been fornicating with a thirteen-year-old girl. I tried to hand her my cell phone and told her to call the police, and she wondered why. I told her that if she believes the rumor is true then reporting me to the police would make a lot more sense than running her mouth to people that cannot legally do anything about it except run their mouths. She stayed away from me for a long time.

Let me share another experience from over thirty years ago: I moved from Carrollton, Georgia, to Bremen, Georgia, and moved my letter from a church in Carrollton to a church in Bremen. At the new church I became friends with an old preacher who was also a barber. He was a good friend, but he was not careful to get details right before playing matchmaker. At my new church there was a young lady who attended with her mother and attended the old church with her dad; her parents were divorced. While getting a haircut I mentioned that I knew that girl's dad and thought highly of him, and he asked if I ever thought of dating that girl. I told him I might pursue her if we are both still single when she is older, and he said that should not matter. I told him I had the impression that a lot of modern evangelicals think it's wrong for teenage girls to date and marry or think an age gap of a few years is a big deal, and I would not want to offend her parents. He assured me that her parents would not object and told me she was older than I thought she was (she wasn't). I had other interests, but he would tell me that girl we discussed at the barber shop would be a better choice, and eventually I agreed with him. He suggested that I write her a letter and gave me her address. After mailing the letter I had opportunity to talk with her at the skating rink in Carrollton that night. I told her I liked her, and she told me she had a boyfriend, and I thought that was the end of the story until I received a threatening letter from her dad, which did not include a forwarding address or phone number. For years I occasionally heard stories from the grapevine about me and what "happened." I am not bitter about this, but it is a bit saddening to think of how misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and loss of friendships can often be avoided through peaceful discussion, but all too many Christians are unwilling to take that step.

Here are a few questions you should ask someone sharing gossip with you (and not necessarily in this order): Do you KNOW this to be true? Have you talked about this with the person you are talking about? Why are you sharing this with me?